Monday, November 14, 2011

丑陋

在刚过的星期五,我完成了我正式的第一份project。

但是event结束后,我并不觉得开心,因为我开始看见人性的丑陋。

原来电视剧里头的情景是会发生在真实的世界里。

我才加入将近七个月,没想到这么快我就开始看清某些人的真面目。

有些人起初对你不友善,至少你还看得见,而不像其他人心机那么重,表面对你好,可是在你背后却是另一个样子。

也许我太天真了吧!

我还以为我可以专心为我的未来打拼,如今看来我需要重新计划一番。

我不明白人为什么可以那么自私、那么残酷……

所有的人都很虚假,假到我无法相信。

不是所有人都会那么大方,真心地去教导你所有事情,你不知其实她在你背后会觉得你烦,觉得你什么都不会。

但他们却装得自己有多么的好,好得足以让你相信一切是真的。

事实是残酷的,我深信这一点。因为我差一点不能相信自己的耳朵,可是这一切确确实实都听进我的耳朵里。

对着这些人,我觉得很累。

人性险恶,我要如何预防?

但我应该庆幸,在短短的一晚里,总算让我看清这一切。

我更加明白了我不该轻易相信他人,也更加不可以随便对他人好,因为他们会利用这一点来获取对他们的利益。

为什么人不可以活得简单一些?为什么非要尔虞我诈,难道这样做会比较开心?

请容许我大喊,"Fuck you bitch! Go fuck yourself in the hell, fucking whore!!"

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Break

Can I take a break? I really need a break.

My inner part feels imbalance. I am tired on both physically and mentally.

Not sure how to describe my feeling.

Listen to different people's said and stories. I cannot differentiate which is correct and which is wrong.

Why so mysterious? And why is it keep changing? Just fooling around?

It is unfair. But what to do?

I do not wish to give up so fast and easily. I tell myself that I need to prove to myself.

I can do it. Whatever it is, I will try my best to solve it.

But please give me time, I am only six months old in this company. Do not push me until I cannot breath anymore. While the rest being treat like a kindergarten children.

I am exhausted. Never work so hard like this before. Not that I did not work hard for previous company, just that this time I really put my effort in everything I do.

I want to fight for my future. I hope what I chosen is correct.